coming to 32 weeks (8 months) and i'm becoming an outie!

Haven't been up to blogging lately..
and i'm pissed that i havent been able to enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I'll be going on my maternity leave earlier than planned. I am not going to let anything (and anyone) rob this time from me and affect the most crucial lap of my pregnancy. Megan is more important than anything else and as everyone says.. it is so not worth it.

So i'm 31 weeks 3 days today.
We are coming to 8 months!
and i'm getting bigger its scary..
she seems to have a growth spurt recently.
my belly button is starting to protrude! arrggghhhhhh....
Megan on the other hand is as active as ever :)

grow well little one :)
our next ob appointment is this coming thursday and i cant wait to see her again!

AT 30 WEEKS (7.5 months)....

AT 26 WEEKS....

hmmm..... 4 weeks and doesn't seem to have much of a difference..

but...... clothes dun lie!

Megan's kicking a racket today! :)
dunno what is she doing inside.
she's been at it for the last 30mins.. haha.
kicks, squirms, boxes, nudges.. all the works!


my baby....

More pic updates! Megan at 27 weeks 4 days

Her head profile, with her chubby arm infront of her face..


Megan got Daddy's feet! Slim and narrow.


Megan's female organs.. she sure isnt a shy gal i must say!




The digits to the left were her heartbeats: Strong! :)
The top printout readings were her heartbeat.
The bottom readings were my contractions. The spikes were the contractions.


We are 29 weeks today!!!

there are days when i get scared...

....and today is one of them.

Veering towards the start of the 3rd trimester, i can't help a sense of panic and fear mounting. Panic of what's coming up, fear of the unknown. And in recent days.. frustration.

With the swine flu moving towards us, i feel the urgent need to get things done. Getting all prepared for Megan's arrival. So far we've got the infant car seat and stroller. My dear sis had generously offer to sponsor the cot/playyard and that took a load off. And i got all the other itsy bitsy swirling about in my head: bottles, sterilizers, nipple cream, nursing bra, glider, mattress... what else have i missed?!!! It is getting overwhelming.

And you would think that's all a first time mummy-to-be has to worry. Far from it. It had been settled, or so i thought. Thanks (or no thanks) to the advice of people around us.. i now have to battle it out again. If i had known it will be forced on me, i will never have taken this path in the first instance. There are things i feel strongly about and i deserve respect on that. I wish people will just bug off.

I'm scared. Of what will come up next. I see a whole new set of issues and challenges. What will it change? Me physically definitely. Honestly, it's pretty terrifying watching myself change outwardly. Today at Compass Point, i saw a few preggos and i realised with a jolt, i'm looking like "one of them". And for a moment, i felt depressed. I dont wanna look like "one of them". It's strange, i don't know how to explain it. Having an insensitive husband who calls me names, jokingly or not, doesnt help one bit. At this point, i dont care for such humour.

And recently it got me thinking what else in my life will change. For the better or worse? I'm terrified... really terrified. Why do i feel the oppressive need to prove myself? To be the perfect mother, the loving wife, who has to keep the house spic and span and at the same time bring back the dough. And if i dont score an A in every role, the job goes to the next person. Then all i'm relegate down to is just a baby-making machine who brings home the money. This is not what i sign up for. Push me any further and i'll bail. I seriously will.

I've come to a point where i ask myself, what is the point in everything i'm doing? Why am i working so hard for? To pass on the baton to someone else? I'm beginning to hate those people who are making me go down that road. And really.. what defines a woman? The roles she plays well?

I'm sick and tired of all this. I'm terrified of what's coming. I wanna pack my bag and head for Narnia. And did i mention my dreams are coming back? Crap..

So here is the latest pic of Zack and Ju's little princess....

Megan Ann Chan

Date: 30 April
Gestation Period: 27 weeks
Weight: 1+kg

Our little Megan is 1 week to her 3rd trimester! She's growing well, weighing in at 1+kg.. which is double of that 4 weeks ago. She is now in the birthing position.. head at the cervix, legs up high above my belly button, facing left. Ahhhh.... so the little pokes on the left side of my belly are her fists or little fingers.. and the ones on top are her little feet! :)

John Tee (our ob) gave us another head profile. I will ask for a pic of her fingers and toes too in our next visit. Yesterday we went to Clinic A at KKH for our appt. Found it a tad chaotic. We fixed our next appt at The Private Suite! It's said to be bigger and cosier so i'm asking Godma, Rachel & Andrew along. So they can see their little grand daughter and niece on the screen :)

Next visit will be in 4 weeks time! Megan will be 31 weeks then :)

What's in a name?
After a not very long search, we decided on her name. It wasn't too tedious a process for us cos there weren't many we like in the first place.. haha. Naturally we have a few criteria.. it has to sound nice, look nice, matches her surname, good meaning.

Megan: A greek name, Strong and Mighty
Ann: A hebrew name, Grace, favoured by God (We picked Ann in honour of my mum. Her name was Angeline but fondly known as Ann by everyone)

We love their meanings! and there are no other names as fitting for our little princess :) So her initials will be M.A.C.

Zack said if she is a big baby, we will call her Big Mac.. if she is small, she will be Little Mac.. hahahaha.

So there.. presenting Zack & Ju's little darling.. Megan Ann Chan! *beams*